Thursday, March 25, 2010
Tony's Entry Step 3 - A Question of Where and not If...
Following God down any road we have never been on is always scary. It shouldn't be, yet we, as fallen humans tend not to trust. I have found that almost always, my confirmations of what to do come after I take steps to follow Him. If God is not leading as I walk, it is quickly evident and when I am taking steps behind Him the signs come and prove that quickly too! I want to share a few evidences of my walk down the road to Kenya, as God has been gracious in making clear that I am on the right track.
I am a full time missionary, always raising support, everyone I know has ben hit upon to give and serve in our ministry. I came into this trip scratching my head as to how to ask, and who to ask, for money to make this trip happen finically. While this concern is not big enough to stop me from going, it is something I will have to fully rely on God to make happen. 2 days after I fully committed to Mike that I was going, I happened upon a belt pack to hold a camera and other things I thought would be great for the trip, so I brought it home. As I unzipped the many pockets the pack had, in the back, in the smallest pocket, was a $20 bill! I was overwhelmed to ay the least. I knew at that moment to stop thinking and strategizing, and to start walking faster. The next day in the mail came a note and a check for $100 for the trip from friends I would not have asked, I was overwhelmed once again. From there I began to pray about who I should send letters to, and found it easy to make a list. Along the way, several family members asked if I had sent them letters and I had not, so they requested I do, and they have helped! Last weekend I sat down and prayed and thought about if there where any other letters I ought to send. I made decision to send out 4 more. I went to church Sunday and 2 of the people I had decided to send a letter to came up to me and asked if they would be getting a letter from me because they wanted to help... again overwhelming.
Lastly, as I wrote down my list of those who I should ask for help, I put down dollar amount I felt strongly that each would give, and each person that has given so far, has given that exact amount... that is overwhelming!
So I am now moving ahead quickly down the path following God. Not to say I don't still carry a fanny pack full of fears, (I am still still a man who's flesh wants control of me!). But now I am focused more on where God is leading instead of wondering if He is leading and that is 90% of the battle. It sound's utterly ridiculous to write on paper that there ever could be a question about if He is leading... but again I am a man to often controlled by flesh that fears, hurts, and wants to feel good above all else.
So I proceed with joy, knowing that this trip is already a victory in my life as my flesh has been weakened just a little bit. I look forward to God's working to bring me closer to Him as we continue to move, even if I have those fleshly fears of the unknown!